Sometimes, it just gets to you!

From a person who has believed being lonely is the best option since there are no people to hurt you or make you happy, here's presenting to you the most notable, most obvious deduction I've made : IT ISN'T !!!    

Loneliness is sad. Ever since the first grade I've been taught : "Man is a social rational animal." and I'd end up thinking "Golly! If Man is rational then how can he be social. Isn't that a contradiction in itself? Shouldn't a man capable of making decisions on the basis of his intellect, deduce at some point of time that society just plainly sucks? That the society is actually a tool to hinder progress because of its inherent nature to fix norms?"

[Now you are thinking this guy is sucha nutter. He ACTUALLY expects us to believe that he thought of all this when he was in the first grade! Well I'm not because I hadn't thought of this as soon as the gray haired lady who took Civics for us started off with that sentence. It took some time!]

Back to the topic, you should probably know that I'm in the low stages of life these days hence the ominous topics with dry sarcasm; hmm hmm hmmm which brings us back to where it all started. School! What a glorified part of our lives.. Well for some it sucked.. for others it sucked too; No! not at all parts but at some very important time frames [for eg:your fly being open when you just return from the loo and the teacher has to make it a point to tell you in front of the entire class (which totally didn't happen to me)]. 

I chose the high road! I chose to live the life of a loner and be proud of it because DUH! as the fake proverb goes "A lone wolf is awesomer than the pack." There I was at the threshold of adolescence (puberty kinda kicked in late. Was always more of a thinker hence the psychological changes first!) actually publicising the entire concept of being a loner with no risks involved and that you needn't be answerable to anyone.

It didn't stop there. I advanced to being a rebel, made Jesus of Suburbia my favorite track and fought with anyone and everyone who dared to question my ability to do anything as I please and not get away with it..

School passed with excruciating difficulty as the gelling process took a nasty turn and suddenly I was the outcast. No worries ! Just a phase! They are immature still! They will find reason when they grow a set is what I told myself till the end of Standard X,. positively still being a loner.

College happened and suddenly the entire aspect of socialising for the sake of being the alpha male took precedence over the lone wolf in some time (Girls are actually petrified of lone wolves! Why not alpha male? :D). Fortunately for me and my worse sense of judgement, I was lucky enough to garner a group of pals who still remain close to my heart for being the perfect assholes they were, are and will be!

No complications in college? There were a few nasty bumps along the ride (read as group squabbles, bitchy gals, cocky attitudes) but nothing that could still make me believe that loneliness was really bad for your health. Sure! Socialising is good but that leaves you vulnerable to attacks from the insensitive and the morons.

So back to square one! Being a loner after the only thing you got from a good friendship turns into a bitchfight with words strewn all round.

So now enters BMSCE and its various branches which penetrate deep into the minds of its students. When I stepped in, it wasn't to be the alpha male or the zeta transvestite (yes shiv Im sorry! :P) but I was wary. 

Wary of the vagaries of trusting anyone until I was pretty sure I wasn't being conned! 

But suddenly, it strikes you, no matter what you do to shield yourself from being hurt from any entity, you can't miss them all and having that friend who just takes the entire problem to a whole new dimension where it seems like putty is relaxing, calming, surprising and exasperating (especially if you've tried to do the same thing for one day). 

Being alone in a dark room just brings me back to the incidents which haunt me and my already deteriorating mental health. Being with people just gives me another chance to show them that I can still outsmart them and hence make me feel happy :D

Deep deep down people care about you, 

Hide little fellow for you are unsure,

Deny all you want, the fact stands tall.

Hide, till you can ignore it no more.

P.S For all those who watch House MD.. You know I thought I was like him. Now i'm thinking i'm more like Home MD

bad pun! :P